critical med and perioperative weeks

alhamdulillah...

saya berjaya menghabiskan attachment dekat ICU selama seminggu. macam-macam pengalaman baru yg saya dapat sepanjang berada dekat ICU nih. semua patient kat icu adalah "the sickest patient among all the patient' kat hospital nih.

kitorang perlu amek history patient tapi memandangkan sume patient memang tak berdaya nak cakap, saya dan kawan2 perlu membaca patient chart hari-hari utk tahu progression pesakit-pesakit nih. yg paling memeningkan adalah biler terpaksa membaca tulisan doktor! haha..mmg betullah orang kate tulisan doktor ni mmg teruk sikit. well..saya punya tulisan lagi teruk. cannot help at all. tak tahu kenape..haha

semingu di ICU, saya menghadapi dua orang patient yang tak dapat survive. seorang makcik yg ade subdural hemorrhage yg teruk (pendarahan dalam otak akibat jatuh) dan seorang lg patient yg ade penyakit berjangkit. ya Allah, tak tahu nak cakap perasaan time tuh. sangat menginsafi diri yg masih tidak sempurna nih. biler saya lihat doktor2 dan nurse2 kat situ, diorg nampak sngt tabah n tenang menghadapi kematian, maybe sebab hari-hari diorg dah tgk kan. saya harap pengalaman ini menjadi peringatan kepada saya tentang kematian yg boleh datang bila2 masa je dekat kita. semoga kalo kita ditakdirkan mati, kita akan mati dalam iman, inyaAllahdan mendapat syurga Allah.

esok..dan untuk seminggu yg akan datang saya akan mulakan 'perioperative attachment' dekat operation thethre. basically saya kene observe dan wat keje anesthesist yg melibatkan sebelum pembedahan dan selepas pembedahan. pengalamana baru lagi nihh...yoshh! berusaha. semoga Allah permudahkan semuanya. :)


p/s : saya rindu umi abah n famili kat kelantan sgt2. huhu..x sabar nak balik summer nih :)

it's more about life than...

assalamualaikum =)
semoga semua sentiasa dilimpahi rahmat islam dan iman yang tak putus-putus dari Allah SWT..

alhamdulillah, sudah hampir sebulan rotation GIT saya kat hospital. x sangka dah nak habes pun jumaat nih. insyaAllah isnin depan saya akan start dengan Respiratory n preoperative rotation pulak for a month. cepat betul masa berlalu kan...

sangat banyak pengalaman pahit, manis, lucu, sedih sepanjang sebulan 'bekerja' dgn para intern, sho, registrat, spr, dan consultant ( basically diorg ni sume doktor2 kat hospital tu lah.hehe). ade yang garang@ cenge@bekeng..ade jugak yang tersangatlah baik. tapi semua mereka sangat2 membantu saya dan kawan2 sepanjang kat hospital tuh. banyak yang dipelajari tentang medical things, life as a doctor (bz sangat!!!), how to deal with patients n lots more stuff which are really important for us as medical student. time kasih daun keladi.

apapun, yang paling menyentuh hati saya adalah patient-patient kat hospital tuh. most of them present with various diseases. some are serious some are not. saya paling banyak belajar dari keadaan pesakit2 nih tentang nilai sebuah kehidupan. saya tak tahu mcm mana nak cakap, tapi seriusly, when u put urself into their condition, u will appreciate everything that u have even more. insyaAllah..i believe u will be closer to Allah n will try to do as much good things as possible when u still have the chance to do that. i.e sebelum nyawa dipisahkan dr jasad.

satu lg, patient kat sini bnyk dari kalangan senior citizen. kesian sgt tgk diorg. ade yg x ingt apa2, confuse, mcm2 lg la.. kadang2 tuh rasa nak menitis airmata tambah2 bila doktor breaking kind of bad news to them. paling sedih, ade seorang nenek nih, sebab risau akan kaco or menyusahkan anak-anak die if kene duduk dgn diorg,die mintak kat doktor kalo boleh nak duduk hospital dr susahkan anak2 die. bayangggkan mcm mana seorang ibu boleh fikir mcm tuh??? kalo saya jd anak die mesti dah nangis time tu jugak. saya harap sangat sape yg baca entri nih, niat dalam hati yang apa pun jadi kat parents kita nanti, kitalah yg kene jaga diorg regardless of anything, sayang diorg mcm mana diorang sayang kita, jgn sampai diorg takut nak mintak tlg dr anak sendiri. nauzubillah... semoga Allah sentiasa jadikan kita umatnya yang sentiasa bersyukur dn hormat ibu bapa dn og tua.

well, itu sahaja kali nih, sbrnyakan bnyk lg pengalaman nak citer,hehe.. tapi x cukup masa..salam syg, jumpa lg =)

p/s : i think i start to love my job even more.yayy!! may Allah make everything easy for me. doakan ek. one quick lesson..u actually learn more about life than medical stuff when u see the patient, when u talk to them, when u listen to their problem n when u feel the responsibility of helping them to get through the hard time( n of course with ALLAH guide n blessed). medic besttt!hoho =P

first surgery :) yayyy

sometimes thing happened unexpectedly without u knowing it's gonna be. and when it happened, it just made ur day. well, i guess new experience, new skills, meeting new frens and people,learn new knowledge always be somethings that really made my day every day. i thanked Allah for giving me all this wonderful things although deep from my heart i know that i dun deserved it. alhamdulillah, for almost 3 years as a medical student, i never regret for choosing medicine as a part of my life. yeahh.. it is difficult, it is hard..no doubt bout that at all..but that is a challenge for me. no matter how hard it is, if u have the passion..u really can do it!! well, i supposed even the easiest thing would be difficult if u dun have passion! am i right?? sape sokong angkat tangan ok :P

copppp!!! i really dont knoe why i end up writing those thing just now.haha..disoriented at 3am. actually i wanna share this one thing that happened to me recently. i was so excited and thankful to Allah for the chance He gave me.huuhu.. okeh..some might things this is just nothing,but nevermind..i still want to share. dun care!!! =P

it was last friday..i wasnt plan at all to practice scrub in ( something that we have to do before surgery) after my git study group. i just thought to go home and rest. but, thanks so much to my collegue, azri bohari for offering to help me and kamal to learn how to scrub in since we are on surgery attachment next week. well..we just went to the OR and practise scrub in and we thought it wont be any surgery going on that night. but we are wrongg. there was an emergency surgery for 11 year old girl who had appendicitis. the surgeon going to performed appendicectomy on her.. and like i said, things sometimes happend unexpectedly, the surgeon dr.Zafir allowed me to scrub in with him. so coool! i feel like jumping that time..

once u scrub in, u are allowed to touch the patient, to hold the scapel, to hold the scissors and all the surgical thinggy and also to feel patient's organ.. cool isn't?? hehe... i was so nervous at first place considering the fact that i just learnd how to scrub in a few minutes ago. but..i kept on praying in my heart so that Allah will help me to survive in the so called my-first-ever- surgery =)poyo jerr kan..well, just to clarify here..scrub in is not as simple as it is thought.. u got to really do it appropriately so that u wont pass any germs to the patient that might harm them once u r close to them in OR. just imagine, that's a real body lying on the table waiting to be cut open and u dont want to cause them trouble OK. infection control!!

u know wat..i felt like i'm a meredith grey in Grey's anatomy series on that time performing my first ever surgery in my own OR. it just that, there is no derek sheperd that time..haha..day dreaming again... just joking. ok2..enough for tonite..almost 4 oclock.need to sleep now. i c yaa again soon ;)


p/s : tq again to azri bohari n kamal for being in the OR, tq to the surgeon for allowing me to help him performing appendiectomy, tq to the nurse, patricia who is sooo kind giving me inspirational advice and above all TQ ALLAH for this chance. to umi n abah, i will try my best to become a great muslimah doctor. gonna make both of u proud. pray for me :)

1st day as clinical year student

alhamdulillah..setelah serabut-serabut pasal new time table utk GIT rotation semalam, hari ini much better walaupun firstly terpaksa tggu consultant utk ward round almost 1 hour.

saya baru faham macam mana rasanya kene spend almost a whole day kat hospital.huhu..
tunggu doktor, cari patient, amek history, buat examination, tgk endoscopy. alhamdulillah everything went well. is just that i really need to improve myself a lot more especially to take the history of the patient. need more practice pleaseee!

tapikan..kelakar sangat rasa biler tgk sume kawan-kawan kita yg dulu comot2 sekarang dress up formally.hehe..sume kejar2 kat hospital cari patient. gaya kitorg 3rd med nih, kalah final med. bz memanjang. cewahh..al maklumlah 1st week semangat tengah berkobar- kobar lagi nih. sume bende nak pegi.

jadual hidup sekrang bermula pkul 7.30pg paling awal. bayangkanlah winter2 nih, subuh pun x abes lg tapi kene jalan kedek2 dalam kesejukan pagi pegi hospital. matahari pun x kuar lg. pastu, pukul 6ptg br dapat balik (esp sape2 yg mmg rajin laa..hehe). pkul 6ptg tuh dah gelap dah matahari dah masuk balik pun. kirenya x jumpa matahri punnn..huhu. paling teruk, boleh samapi luper nak makannn..lol. mmg boleh kurus nih :D ... semoga Allah sentiasa memberkati masa kami.

apapun, saya sangat suka clinical year compare to lecture je evryday. hopefully this is a good start for me in this new year and may Allah always be with me in everything i do.

p/s : alhamdulillah, satu bende yg paling bg pengajaran kat saya bile tiap2 hari jumoe orang sakit nih, awak akan sentiasa muhasabah diri dan akan ingt yang hidup ini adalah pinjaman Allah semata-mata. INGAT 5 PERKARA SEBELUM 5 PERKARA =). semoag kita semua ditempatkan dikalangan orang beriman. insyaAllah. salammm. nak g belek buku cket2. jumpe lg.

it is all because of His blessing...

i wake up this morning and just realize how thankful i am for every single breath that Allah gives me. since me struggling with my final exam this semester, my only focus was books and medic stuffs for at least the past 3 months. and that's it. (well..no doubt..there were still few more things actually besides medic!! =P..) i just cant believe i survived this tremendous hardest semester ever so far. it was just too much to do and without Allah's blessing and help, i seriously dont think i can make it till today. in fact, being a 3rd year medical student, i can tell u it is all really because His blessing or rahmat, not actually from my effort though how much i study becoz medic is so unpredictable. i still remember one of my fren did tell me - if u achieved sumthing, it is actually only 1% of your effort, the rest of 99% is come from Allah's blessing and help- and it is soooooo true for me. u need Allah in whatever condition because that is what we called 'fitrah'.

and now, after i finished my last paper yesterday, i was so excited and grateful. we went for 'makan-makan', walking along christmas market and spend our night laughing and chatting bout our winter trip, plan for our next holiday and the list just go on and on. provided, it was a perfect night, to celebrate the so called 'freedom' as exam over, with snowww which is just enough to make u think Allah is the greatest. it was so beautiful and very soothing by just looking at it. i just love snow soo much :).

but, the happiness just end there after i received a heart breaking news from my junior saying that Mas afzal had just passsed away after admitted to the icu. me personally, i didnt knoe him as a person as well. i just met him once last summer at one of the summer camp that i attend. he is 26 year old doctor who suffered from Hodgkin lymphoma ( a type of cancer) since december 2008. by looking at him, u will knoe this man is really strong, fighting and struggling for the disease that he has yet, still able to finished his study and motivate others. i wish i'll be as strong as him. but now, that he had gone, it really make me think how close we are to death. it can be today, tomorrow or anytime. Ya Allah, are we ready to face it when the time is finally come?? let 'muhasabah' our own self. may Allah grant us his blessing and good health to do da'wah and good things in this world. to Mas Afzal, may he rest in peace and be in 'syurga' with all the good men.

for this 2 weeks winter break, i hope i can use my time wisely and do a preparation for the next step as medical student as well as prepare my self to become a good muslimah insyaAllah :). i shud pen off now. till we meet again. happy holiday. take a good care of yourself ok. may Allah protect us always. salam =)


p/s : i just finished my 2 and half year of medic school.tq Allah.. 2 and half year more to go. hopefully everything will go smoothly and i pass my exam. pray for me. *luv n hugssss*